Ok….so anyone who’s talked to me knows how fucked up my internet is. It’s been this way for frigging MONTHS. We get internet quite faithfully….between 10:30 PM and 10:20 AM…EVERY day, at those exact times. So, as a result, I constantly have to hack the neighbor’s wifi in order to do anything online during the day (such as now)…The other option for internet with fidelity is to walk 3 miles to the library in weather that’s “85° F (32° C) feels like 95° F (35° C)” carrying a laptop and charger cable the whole time. Suuuuure, I’m gonna do juuuust that! (For those impervious to subtle moods, that was dripping with toxic sarcasm)

Well, we’ve called verizon a few times about it and they claimed to have “fixed” it from their HQ or whatever in India (and we know that, not to sound racist, because they all sound….well, Hindu. I know hindus….soooo…i would know, they’re Hindu. Outsourcing = 99.9999999999999999% chance that it’s in India…just saying…..please don’t kill me for sounding racist (my mom never once asked for someone who “spoke english” ok????? I do not, in anyway, support then ostracizing of hindus/Indians for any reason, especially because of outsourcing). Anyways, it’s “worked” for about an hour and then stopped. So we called again…and again…enough for them to KNOW something was wrong.

So, last Wednesday, they were supposed to send a technician to come and fix our problem. Nope, never came. They called 3 times AFTER that, saying “Oh, the problem’s been fixed, so don’t worry, you won’t need technicians!”….and no such problems were fixed. They were gonna “send” a team on Friday, but that was my grad party so that didn’t happen. Then, we tried again, and they said one would come today, for SURE, between 8 and 12. I got up at 7 AM to wait for them. Then, at 8:37 AM, they sent her a TEXT (which we’ll prolly have to pay for because we don’t have texting) saying “A technician will be at your house by 5 PM today, August 17th”. The kicker is, verizon claims he was dispatched at 4:00….and arrived and fixed the problem at 4:30 and left. Now, the only verizon technician on our street today was down a HALF MILE down the road (according to verizon, he was “repairing lines in the front”…which I know wouldn’t happen because all the lines in our neighborhood are in our backyards)…which kinda begs the question…”Um, why couldn’t he drive down and see us if they knew we had trouble?”

Well, needless to say, he didn’t show….otherwise I wouldn’t be ranting and raving like a lunatic right now. So, after an hour of bitching on the phone to verizon and trying to get to SOMEONE who could help us (and enduring 25 minutes of a computerized voice suggesting that we “check out the tech support at verizon.com!!!”…which was kinda the point why we were calling to begin with…..) they FINALLY sent us a text at 6:10 saying “a technician has been dispatched”…he’s currently here, working on it, I have no problems with him, he’s a nice guy (his son’s going to RIT this year, too, but as a sophomore) but…my mom has promised them that if this is STILL broken anytime even REMOTELY soon, we are dumping our verizon internet, cell and house phones.

I can only hope everything’s fixed because this has been one fucked up roller coaster lately.